is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
