i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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