Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
