I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
