Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
