During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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