You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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