I'm going to jail i love you
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
