I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just high enough for therapy.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
