I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Can you bring me the toilet please
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
