I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
