when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
