I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
