My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
