East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
