haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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