Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize