i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize