Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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