Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
