the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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