: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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