Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize