There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
