Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
