thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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