The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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