he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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