hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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