The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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