I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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