just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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