Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
