Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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