What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
