I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize