Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
