Yo dont text me then not text me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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