I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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