Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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