He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
