My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
