miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize