CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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