I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
