in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
false alarm, still single
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
