Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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