The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
