Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
