What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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