doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
