I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
