I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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