I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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