Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
