I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
