whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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