Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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