AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize