from now on my penis is your penis
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
