D3 body, D1 cock
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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