Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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