Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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