i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Then you guys just all showered together...?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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