Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
