people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
