sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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